Strange Brew is something I’ve worked for many years now. It’s always a little on the chaotic side and sometimes with a little chaos, fun can be found. The big draw isn’t the money or the beer. The draw for me comes from seeing people who I don’t normally don’t get to see. Although this year, it left me wanting. But for what?
Every year I leave feeling rejoiced. My heart is full of frienship and new memories. But this year it seemed to only stir old memories. Not for the worse by any means, but it just made my heart ache a bit. Still does if I’m being honest. There are a lot of people I miss in Port Townsend. A lot of things I left behind when I moved. A lot of friends and possibilites unexploared. I think this year it just hit home hard how much I feel like I’m missing.
Was moving the right choice? Yes. I don’t regret it. I don’t reget having the opertunity to travel more in the last four years then I’ve done the rest of my life combined. I don’t regret having the oprtunity to write three books. Or meeting one of the best friends I’ve ever had. Becoming closer to my family and building stronger relationships with them. I wouldn’t change any of that. But I can’t shake the feeling like I’m still missing something. Like I had to choose one or the other. I’ve spent the last two days thinking about it, walking around in a funk. Dweling on missed opertunites and wondering if there’s anything I would have done diffrently.
The reality is, that’s not the way life works. You don’t get re-dos, no matter how much we want them. Or can we? Maybe it’s not about having a re-do, but more about having a second chance. Are second chances possible? Even from a distance? Can someone really have her cake and eat it too?